Letters from Nam
by Mel.K
Summary: Will the war stand in the way of young love? (ON HOLD)
1. Default Chapter

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Letters from Nam

Prologue

A/N: Heya. OK this is my first AD fic… so don't kill me if it sucks!! I still haven't decided if I want to continue this… But let me know what you think and tell me if I should continue.

Meg watched him as he jumped the fence into her backyard with ease. He greeted her with a kiss. Pulling away, Meg noticed his grim expression.

"What's wrong?" Instead of answering, Chris pulled her into his arms and held her. He didn't want to let go. He never wanted to let go. He wanted to savour the moment and hold on to it for the rest of his life. Despite his protests, Meg pulled him away from her.

"Tell me." She whispered. He looked into her eyes. He knew that whatever happened, those would be the most beautiful thing he'd ever see. He'd seen them smile, he'd seen them glisten with fresh tears, he'd seen them turn dark in anger and he'd seen them soften with love. And he was about to make them fill with pain. He didn't want to be the reason for her hurting. Too many people had let Meg down and caused her pain, and he'd always promised himself that he wouldn't be one of those people. Until now.

"I got a draft notice today."

"You what?" She asked him, disbelievingly.

"They're sending me to Nam, Meg."

"But you're not going though, right? You can't. Not after everything we've fought so hard for!" Again, Chris didn't answer. He watched her eyes glaze over, and listened to her breaths become shallow. Chris tried to pull her into his arms again, but she pushed him away and slapped him, hard across the face. After the shock passed, Chris put his hand to the crimson hand print on his left cheek. He knew he deserved it. He couldn't expect to let her down like everyone else had, and not expect a reaction.

"I don't have a choice, Meg. If I don't go, I'll be arrested."

"And if you do go, you might not come back. I can't deal with that again. Not after JJ." She turned away from him momentarily. "This is so hypocritical of you. You've been protesting the war for the last year and now you're going to join it? You'll kill people and then, if you do come back… You'll be the shell of the person you used to be. And you'll have to live with those memories for the rest of your life."

"You're not listening to me. I don't have a choice. I _have _to go."

"You could go to Canada. That's where all the people go, that are trying to avoid being drafted."

"I've already been drafted. I can't avoid it! It's already happened." Please understand." He urged her gently. Meg considered for a second. She felt more for Chris, than she'd felt for anybody. He'd come into her life by coincidence and had never left. And she didn't want him to leave now. She didn't want to think what it would be like to lose her guy, as well as her brother to the war. She cleared her throat slightly, and tried to re-gain some composure before speaking.

"I don't think you should come over anymore."

"Wait… Are you breaking up with me?"

"Yes." Meg confirmed.

"This is crazy, you're talkin' crazy!"

"And you aren't? Going off to fight a war that you don't even know the reason for. That you've been fighting against. That's not crazy?"

"I…" Before Chris got to finish, Meg cut him off.

"I know! You don't have a choice. But I do. And I can't watch somebody I love, leave again and never come back."

"Love?"

"Please go Chris." He shortened the distance between them, and took her chin between his thumb and his finger, and kissed her lightly.

"I will come back. I promise." Meg looked away, encouraging him to do as she wished, and leave.

Watching him jump back over the fence to his house, Meg let the tears she'd been holding back, fall freely.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." She whispered to herself.


	2. Letter One

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Letters from Nam

Letter One

A/N: Thankyou Joan McAninch Samuelson for allowing letters from her loved one to be read.

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Tuesday, February 4th, 1969

Dear Meg,

I am at a loss as to what I can say that will make you feel any better. We parted under harsh circumstances and for that I am sorry. I wish things could have been different. Maybe there was some other way to break it to you. Another way that might have made it easier to hear. But under all these apologies and formalities, all I can say now is that I miss you and wait for the day that we will be together again. My regiment has not yet been assigned a mission, so return post should be to the address given.

Yours

Forever and Always,

Chris.

Meg lay the short note flat on the table in front of her. She glared at it, searching for some sign of emotion, other than the words on the paper. It turned her heart brittle and cold to know that these letters filled with sentiment, meant for loved ones, were read first by censors. Hard, broken men that couldn't remember love, even if they'd wanted to.

She imagined Chris sitting on a rock somewhere, scrawling desperately on a scrap of paper, by the light of the moon. Trying to find the words that would give Meg comfort and convey his feelings, yet at the same time, careful not to say too much, as his thoughts and feelings were his own, and not for the officer who had been assigned to censoring the outgoing post. Never finding the right words, Meg imagined long, heart-felt letters, screwed up his feet ready to be added to the small fire that crackled in front of him, instead settling for a cold note of well wishes, hoping that his loved ones would read between the lines.

And this is what Meg was trying to do. Read between the lines. But for as long as she searched the jumble of letters and punctuation, Meg came up empty handed. The only way she would know Chris's true feelings, and what he truly wanted to say, would be to look into his eyes. And have his eyes look back into hers.

It had always been said that the eyes are a window to the soul, and the soul never lies. Whatever Chris wasn't saying to Meg in his brief letters, he was hiding in the deep corners of his soul, waiting for the day when Meg might be able to retrieve it.

She gently, refolded the letter, careful to use the original creases made by Chris, and slipped it back into it's envelope. She disappeared into her bedroom and opened her closet. Removing an empty shoebox, she sat on her bed and put Chris's first letter into the bottom. Replacing the lid, Meg took a marker and wrote neatly on the top - _Letters from Nam._


End file.
